My baby is sick for the first time. Fighting every meal and throwing up everything she manages to get down. It's the scariest and most heart wrenching thing I've ever seen. When you first have your child you don't think about watching them spew out milk all over themselves, covering not only their entire body and face but then choking on it all in a matter of seconds while you're momentarily paralyzed by fear.
All I could do was hold her on her side so she didn't continue to choke. I've never seen anything like this. I'm yelling for Andrew, for help. This tiny human whose care I've been entrusted with, this fragile being, is hurting and there's nothing I can do to fix it. Never mind being sick myself, suddenly that doesn't matter because I've had to strip the mattress, peel the soaking clothes off and wipe her down. It doesn't matter how nauseas I am while I'm holding my baby skin to skin while dad gets her bed cleaned. I'm holding her and its the first time I've even been this scared in my entire life.
I know I'll see worse things happen to her in my lifetime, but in that moment all I could do was hold her and cry. I want to take away the pain and the hurting, but this time I can't.