#oursharedshelf #roxanegay #hungerthememoirofmybody #beingfat #eatingdisorder #fionaapple #sexualassault #feelingsafe #emmawatson
Originally when I was in Newcastle Waterstones, I was to buy Roxane Gay's Hunger, a memoir of her coming to terms with her body for the sake of currently reading in Emma Watson's bookclub.
Yet after eight short chapters, I found myself overwhelmed by it, as it reminded me terribly of Fiona Apple the singer-songwriter.
Fiona Apple was sexually assaulted near her home when she was twelve, ever since then she struggled terribly to come to term with her situation. She tried to make herself super skinny, in hope of shedding whatever that got her raped in the first place. Same went with Roxane Gay, but she stuffed herself a large portion of food in hope that she would be kept at bay from any attacks of men.
To me, the eating disorder they carried were originated with their craving of security, in order to be living in the world with men without being attacked was to have an absolute control of the food we eat. Which as a result led all possible side effects of their health. Luckily they stayed alive and became awesome people.
Luckily for me I did not suffer such painful situation, even in HK people's standard I was automatically equals to being fat, my relationship with food generally was alright. But from time to time I would starve myself especially before university, if I made some mistakes and it cause really bad consequences, I would starve myself as a punishment. I did not know why I did so, but maybe because it was the less painful method compared to most of the punishment I could think of.
Eating disorder is not something easily solved, and each person's internal agony are different from the other, and so it goes we have to do whatever we can to help (well just be available for them)...